Perfect Match – Week 6; Chapters 8 & 9

August 19, 2007 at 2:33 pm | Posted in Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match Week 6, vigilante justice | 5 Comments

What the?

A screenplay written by Literate Housewife

As inspired by the last two chapters of Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult

Literate Housewife [Kate Winslett] is reading while comfortably reclined with a gently read copy of Perfect Match in her hands.  Her relaxed face grows more and more tight and twisted as she reads through the parts of the book where Caleb pretty much forgives Nina (on Nina’s terms, mind you), the perpetrator dies, and the jury cannot make a decision.  Her drawn face loosens as Nina makes the decision to let the judge decide her fate.  The hope of impending justice is like a muscle relaxer for her soul.

As Literate Housewife reads the judge’s verdict, she bolts up straight in her rocking chair.  “What the f*ck?” she says under her breath as it becomes apparent that the judge is going to let Nina off because, as a prosecuter, she has cause to be scared of what the justice system (the justice system, mind you) would have done to her family.  All the while, Literate Housewife’s hands curl and crinkle the book.  She could have possibly bought that a jury would find her not guilty, but a judge sentencing her to probation?  Does it really matter for how long?  Seriously!

Literate Housewife tosses the book on the foot stool, stands up, and starts pacing for a few moments.  She wipes the hair out of her face, stretches her back, arms, and legs.  She gives her head a good shake and sits back down.  After taking several deep breaths, Literate Housewife picks the book back up.

Patrick is leaving town and won’t stick around for Nina.  Literate Housewife nods.  At least that’s something.  Patrick at least grew up.  She continues to read.

 “What?” she cries.  She flips back a page and rereads a portion of the last pages of the book.  She flips back another time before she screams out loud.  “Caleb killed the perverted priest and his damn cat with anti-freeze?  That’s bullsh*t!” [Last sentence drawn out for effect.]

 Suddenly, as if propelled by rocket fuel, a copy of Perfect Match flies across the room.  It hits the wall with a loud thunk and then falls on the floor in a heap.  Literate Housewife gets up from her rocking chair and, while streaming curses under her breath, walks out of the room.  The last shot is of Literate Housewife giving the beaten up copy of the book a good swift kick.

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5 Comments »

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  1. I think I have seen this screenplay… though instead of Literate Housewife, it was Trista… but the rest of the screenplay seems really familiar. 😉

  2. I laughed and laughed and laughed at this. I was totally waiting for your reaction before I posted anything, because, um, yeah.

    Rabbit? Meet hat.

    It was pretty much the same around this house. I ranted, raved and swore at poor Mr. Babbler about how ridiculous this book was. When I was done with him, I started in on my mother-in-law. I don’t think I’ve ever been as annoyed with a book as I was with this one.

    This is what happened for me with the first book of Ms Picoult’s that I read, My Sister’s Keeper. At least that novel was good up until the last chapter, but it, too, took a turn for the utterly ridiculous in the last chapter.

    Here’s hoping our next selection is better… and, um, can I suggest we avoid Ms Picoult’s works in the future? 🙂

  3. Mark and b*babbler ~

    I am so glad that you appreciated my little screenplay. Even thinking of writing a standard review of those last two chapters was reigniting the inferno of my rage at that book. At least being slighly more creative got me through.

    Yes, I think I’m done with Jodi Picoult for the time being.

  4. Jodi Picoult WAS a decent writer – for her first few books, that is. Until she became a writing machine, churning out one poorly written/researched book per year. She used to visit one of the book message boards which I frequent and I posted a comment about how none of her female protagonists EVER have a support system of friends. I find this to be very unreal and phony. Her response – she isolates her main character to advance the plot. In other words….PHONY! Give me a break. What a crock.

    And some of her plot devices are ridiculous. (One time, the main character carried a basket of muffins into court and gave them out AS IF!!!!) And her sloppy research, as in “My Sister’s Keeper” – awful! She spent a week with an Amish family but got things so wrong.

    GRRR – can you tell how crazy she makes me? LOL

    Just found your blog thru Sunday Salon.

    JOANN

  5. […] stuck-up, characters. This is by far the worst book I’ve read this year. I would gladly read Perfect Match again without complaining just for the joy of caring about a character […]


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